Mike Benedetti's Interview, July 29, 1997:

Jimi Satan

Jimi is the rhythm guitarist for the Philadelphia metal band Wastoid. He was interviewed just before a "Judas Priest Tribute Night" at Philadelphia's Silk City.

I have this recurring dream. In it, I appear to be on some other planet, perhaps in some other solar system, and, at first, it seems as though I am the only Earthman there. And I have a tremendous sense of exhilaration because I seem to believe, in the dream, that I have been given the opportunity to impart my value systems to whatever forms of life might be on that planet. What would you do if you somehow landed on a distant planet where the inhabitants had no knowledge of metal? What--if anything--would you tell them?

Jimi: Would the aliens want to eat me or anything?

They'd be peaceable. They'd just want to know the basic lessons of metal.

Well, first of all you need to get yourself a pointy guitar. I wonder if I'd have to tell them what a guitar was.

They'd be reasonably sophisticated, they'd have guitars.

You gotta grow long hair. Wear spandex whenever you can. Have very bone-headed lyrics about vague stuff like rock 'n' roll, chicks, or aliens invading Earth, or whatever. That's basically the outline of a heavy metal song.

How long would the introductory course take?

Assuming they know nothing, probably a couple of years. Teach them a couple of scales on the guitar, y'know.

What, in your opinion, is the key metal scale?

The key rock scale for anything is like minor pentatonic.

You don't go in for mixolydian or anything?

No, not off the top of my head. I'm not really a scale person. I'll play something, and musicians will be like, "Cool, that's a mixa-whatever scale," and I'm like, "Oh, that is? Cause I threw that extra note in there?"

It's strange to think that, in a musically conservative city like Philadelphia, there is such a dynamic metal scene.

Is there really?

Well, you have a metal band, and people come to your shows.

We try to be very theatrical and entertaining, and we've got the smoke and the lights and everything.

So you don't forsee a metal Renaissance?

Hopefully I will see one. I can't really predict that. Hopefully a whole lot of people will start playing the old Priest/Maiden crazy stuff.

These kids coming up today, they don't really have any role models.

It's all that MTV. It sucked all the imagination from them.

(Jay, from Fourbagger (?), consults Jimi, who is organizing the Priest tribute. They don't know any Priest songs. Jimi says they can play whatever they want to.)

Jay, do you have anything important to say about metal to our readers?

Jay: Hell no. I'm from the mountains. These people suck, and I'm never coming back here.

(Discussion of the metal scene in the mountains, and why Korn and Pantera are "no fun.")

Are you going to try to do another tribute night anytime soon? I heard the Tribute to Spinal Tap went real well.

Jimi: Hopefully we'll do a Deep Purple one, probably a Maiden one. I'm looking forward to doing more in the future.